Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I am rich! FILTHY RICH!

Oh my God! I am going to be rich... FILTHY RICH!... I can't believe I didn't read this for so long!

It was 1 am in the morning and I was unable to sleep. I had just finished checking my yahoo mail. For a change I decided to check the emails in my spam folder. And within 10 min of reading emails, I realized that my life has changed forever!

In just 10 short minutes, I got several surprises! Unexpected surprises!

First, I had won lottery, not 1, not 2, wait for this... 4 lotteries.... and the best part was that I never even bought a ticket for any of them. Isn't it a nice surprise when you get something without doing anything.... there is a free lunch after all in this world!

Here is one of the lottery emails.... along with my line by line "reactions"...

 And then there were all these wonderful offers from all kinds of people (bank managers from African countries, a dying window, a 19 years old, china government) who wanted to send me millions out of nowhere... Here is one of the email again...

After reading all the emails I learned a few things:
  • You don't need a ticket to win a lottery.
  • Big companies like BMW are very generous and give unsolicited money to random people.
  • You should not open bank accounts in African banks without naming a beneficiary.
  • African bank managers are very corrupt and will try to swindle money after you die.
  • Canadian pharmacies are selling cheap drugs.
  • I can make thousands working from home (and here I am slogging in an office)
  • I can get my soul mate in just a few clicks (I wonder what Rahul has to say about that)
  • I have E.D. I mean why would all the nice people online send me all these emails urging me to buy E.D. medication. And ignorant me, I thought this was a male condition.
  • I have a secret admirer... Too bad, he would have to stay a secret because I don't want to sign up and pay $39.99 to find out...
  • Almost all the banks have locked my account on the suspicion of fraudulent activity and I need to rest my account EVERYWHERE... even in the banks where I don't have an account....
All these nuggets of wisdom were right there in my mailbox, but hidden in the SPAM folder.... Damn you Yahoo spam filter.... it was you who came in between me and all this money, health and love life... stop this madness... stop filtering all these great things as SPAM.... and let me get filthy rich!!!!

Greed is good!

Signing off,
Shilpa Vir
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  1. Stopped by to check out your blog and I like what I see! Great post! Made me grin from ear to ear.