Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Thoughtful Tuesdays - why parents should let their children fall and fail...

Where parents do too much for their children, the children will not do much for themselves. - Elbert Hubbard

Each year, as summer approaches, I start thinking about Canada where we visited a couple years ago for a week. We were hosted by our extended family with lots of love and we had the best time. During that visit, we were invited to dinner by our host's brother and sister-in-law (Uncle ji and Arna Aunty), a very loving and affectionate couple.


Rithik was a little over one at the time and had begun walking. Having had enough restrictions all day, he wanted to walk all over the house. So I sat in the kitchen while Rithik ran in and out of all rooms. The entrance to the kitchen from one of the rooms was raised and as Rithik came running, he tripped and fell down. Uncle ji promptly picked him up, kissed him and made sure he was OK. A few moments later, Rithik came again. Before Rithik could fall, Uncle ji picked him up before he could fall.

This time Arna Aunty said "Don't pick him up. Let him fall a couple times." Uncle was visibly upset "What are you saying. The kid will get hurt". Arna Aunty said "Let him get hurt a couple time. He won't do the same mistake again." Uncle was still upset, but I agreed with Aunty. Uncle left to check on everyone in the other room.

Rithik came running again and fell again.... No one picked him up.... He got up, rubbed his head and then ran on... A few minutes later he came again, tripped again, fell again, got up again and ran again....

Then we saw it. The next time, as Rithik came running, he slowed near the entrance, stopped, carefully crossed the entrance and then ran again... Arna Aunty said "The kid will learn if you let him learn."

I was amazed... I had just realized a golden rule for parenting...

Let your kids fall...
Let your kids make mistakes...
and let them learn from them...

If you do too much for them, and try to bring them up in a protective environment, they will not be ready to enter the real world when the time comes... Let them know that you are always there for them, let them know that you love them and believe in them... Let them know that you will love them no matter how many failures come their way... and then leave them free to figure out their problems.... you will do them a favor

Until next time,

2 comments:

  1. Very True Shilpa!!! Completely in sync with you :)

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